May 23

Control, Who?


Control, Who?

Most of us have been there. Focusing or fixating on things that are simply outside of our control. Yet our minds almost convince us that there is something we can do to have control over them! The reason this is something I am touching on is because trying to control things that we have no power over, only ends up hurting us. It leaves us stuck, and unable to focus on what really matters. That is why it is imperative to learn what you can and cannot control. 

Learning to let go of what you cannot control is an essential skill for achieving inner peace and mental clarity. It is often easy to become fixated on trying to control situations that are beyond our reach, leading to frustration and anxiety. However, by shifting our focus to what is within our control, we can redirect our energy towards positive change.

The first step in letting go of what you can't control is acknowledging that you have limited power over certain aspects of your life. It can be helpful to reflect on the things that are causing you stress and ask yourself if there is anything you can realistically do to change them. If the answer is no, accepting the situation for what it is can be liberating.

Letting someone else have control over you, takes away all your power. Let's say you have a colleague who has caused in-office drama. Maybe it was directed towards you. This caused you stress, anxiety, frustration, the like. Maybe it affected your entire day. Maybe you spent hours trying to come up with the perfect comeback. When the alternative would simply be to let it go. Practice empathy. If they are always stirring up drama, there is likely something underlying. Maybe their at-home life. It really isn't about you. Yet you are the source of projection. So, you may not be able to control her drama-stirring skills, yet you can control how they affect you and your day. You can choose to let it go! And control how you show up in response. Maybe this is learning to approach it with an 'I-message' or simply ignore it. The choice is up to you. 

Once you have identified what is outside of your control, it is time to shift your focus to what you can influence. This may include your thoughts, behaviors, and reactions to external events. Instead of spending time and energy worrying about things you cannot change, focus on taking positive actions towards improving what you can control. If you find that you have a more constant issue of trying to control things, I encourage you to seek much more in-depth support. I focus on this in Higher Purpose Mastery.

It is also important to practice mindfulness and self-compassion when learning to let go of what you can't control. Acknowledge that it is natural to feel frustrated or disappointed when things don't go as planned, but try not to dwell on negative emotions. Instead, focus on the present moment and take steps towards creating a positive outcome.

In conclusion, learning to let go of what you cannot control is a powerful tool for achieving peace of mind and personal growth. By redirecting your focus towards what is within your control, you can take positive steps towards creating a more fulfilling life. Remember to practice mindfulness, self-compassion, and acceptance, and you will be well on your way to a happier, more peaceful existence.

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About the Author

Dorcy Pruter is the CEO & Founder of Dorcy Inc, which serves & Conscious Co-Parenting Institute. In all realms, Dorcy is a master at empowering you with the skills and tools you need to easily remove the emotional blocks that hold you stuck, so you can create the life and relationships you deserve.

Dorcy Pruter

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